Friday, February 21, 2014


i close my eyes and imagine im there with you, its not hard to do. the hard part is opening my eyes and closing my arms around the empty air in front of me. the smell of cigarette smoke and fresh air taunt me, making me believe that this time ill open my eyes and be looking into yours. 

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

pulling at my hair

im tired of connecting with people half a world away. their words comfort me but i am craving a hand to hold. im tired of waking up and knowing youre done with your day. i want to go to sleep if not beside you, knowing youre too in bed. im tired of everyone whose ever been there for me being far away. but maybe this is growing up. maybe this is living

Friday, January 31, 2014


im sorry i havent been around, ive been in london, lovely london. im sorry for a lot of things these days. most of all the way his voice cracked when he said i love you as if between the words were messages of hurt. which there were. there is a pain i can never take away. but i will never stop trying.

Sunday, October 20, 2013


its been so long i'm not sure what to say. i've been to hells door and back but it just keeps on going. he tells me i need to stop thinking i'm broken. like its a bad thing. but i like being broken. my cracked pieces clink together, keeping me company. i don't know any other way to be.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

flowers grow in dead places

spaces, between me and you, between the bones where the flowers grow. i am waiting for them to bloom and i am waiting for the end.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


You sent me a letter with a picture of a boat, as if you knew I'd like to sail away. But I have lost the sea, I am surrounded by concrete and the only water here drips from the sky.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

i am not

I hold secrets in my heart and revel in their company. I don't want this secret. But time has passed and now it is too late to tell. I just wish I could hear you say "I love you" and everything would be alright again.